Have you noticed that if you say yes when you mean no, things start to unravel? That if you agree to do something you don’t really want to do, you don’t feel good inside? And not only that, you don’t enjoy doing that thing that you’ve agreed to do that you didn’t really want to do?
And often, not only do you not have a good time, but the other people who are involved in this scenario also notice that something’s not quite right. And so no one really has a good time! Because you are unconsciously giving out the vibe of ‘well, I’m not enjoying this so why should anyone else?’!
If you say yes when you mean no you are not being authentic, or true to yourself, to who you really are. You are not living your life you, you are trying to fit in with someone else’s. And when you are ignoring your inner wisdom and guidance in favour of ‘fitting in’, it never works.
The most important thing you can do is be who you really are. And who you really are is not someone who agrees to live someone else’s life by constantly trying to fit into their shoes. Which by the way, are most unlikely to fit you!
So why do we do this? Why do we always try and please others, when it means not pleasing ourselves – and getting grumpy about it?!
Well two reasons. Firstly we’re not paying attention to our inner guidance, to our intuition. Because if we were we would definitely know from our initial knee-jerk response to the suggestion or invitation that we’ve said ‘yes’ to when we mean no, that things weren’t going to turn out in a fun way… Because our initial ‘feeling’ response would have been a ‘not good feeling’ in our gut, or our body. We would at some level have noticed this feeling, and either ignored it or talked ourselves out of what it was telling us, which would have been ‘don’t do it, you won’t enjoy it….’
The other reason we do it is because we are acting out of fear. Fear that if we don’t do what the other person is asking us to do they won’t love us any more. Everything we do is done either out of fear or love. And everything we do out of fear, is because we want love…. It’s all we ever want…. But the place to go for love is within ourselves, not without. All our negative emotion comes from not loving ourselves. And what do we feel when we say yes when we mean no? Negative emotion, unloveable!
Saying yes when we mean no, is giving up our power, being the victim. It’s trying to ‘control’ the situation, by doing what the other person wants so they will still love us. It may make for harmonious relationships in the short term, but in the long term the person we’re fitting in with usually ends up not liking us because we’re grumpy and resentful and we don’t like ourselves either because we’re not being true to ourselves, to who we really are.
It really is a no-win situation. But we all do it, because it’s what we’re brought up to do. It’s no one’s fault, but once we recognize it, it’s time to start behaving differently.
It’s time to recognize that it’s when we are being authentic, being Who We Really Are that we are our most loveable self. So it’s time girls, it’s time, to stand in our power, to be who we were born to be and to say NO when we mean NO! And believe me in the long run, if we could all do this, the whole world would stand up and clap and cheer ♥