Who are you really and what do you really want? 

This year, if you’re anything like me, you will have had plenty of time for reflection. Everyday life has been very different for most people. We generally have routines we stick to and tend to do the same things day in and day out. But suddenly, almost out of nowhere, there have been new rules about what you can and can’t do – and there still are for many people. 

There have been times we have been told to stay at home, when for some people home is not a place where they want to be, and life for many has become much more of a challenge. But if your life seems in chaos, don’t worry, it’s not a bad thing!

Look at chaos as a bit like throwing all parts of your life up in the air… Until the parts actually land you’ve no idea what life will look like. The only sure thing is that it will be different – and different can feel scary. Not knowing what the outcome will be is what makes you want to stay under the duvet in your comfort zone. You are programmed to need to know outcome. New and different tend to make you feel fearful, precisely because they are new and different – not familiar.

But if you do dip your toe into the waters of the new and different, eventually the new and different will become part of your routine and the baseline of your new comfort zone. It’s how you grow and move forward in your life.

Chaos is a good thing because out of chaos comes change. If things are ordered, they tend to stay the same because the outcome is being controlled by you. If you are in control, you tend to stay in your comfort zone because that’s where you feel safe – cuddled up under the duvet! 

Do you really want things to stay the same? Isn’t there something in your life that you’d like to change? Perhaps lots of things?! Have you spent a lot of time thinking about what you don’t want and don’t like about your life? Shouting about it in your head and willing it to somehow miraculously change overnight? But of course it hasn’t, because you are like a magnet. What you focus your energy on is what you pull into your life. Like attracts like. Particularly when strong emotions are involved. So when you focus on what you really don’t want, you tend to get more of the same… 

However that is actually perfect… because now you know what you don’t want you can Re-Write Your Life. Knowing what you don’t want in your life will help you focus on exactly what you do want. Remember, what you focus your energy on is what you pull into your life.


  • Get a notebook or a sheet of paper. Make two columns – one column headed What I Don’t  Want and the other one headed What I Do Want.
  • Write the Don’t Want list first. Get it all out of your head. Everything that you don’t want in your life. Remember you’re going to Re-Write Your Life exactly how you want it to be. Keep writing what you don’t want until you can’t think of anything else. You can go back later and keep adding to it if you think of more things.
  • In the Do Want column, don’t limit yourself to things you only think are possible. Put in that list everything you want in your life, even if in this moment it seems impossible. When I had “Climb Mount Everest” on my Do Want list, that definitely seemed impossible at the time. But dreams do come true, and the first place to start is by giving that dream a voice. Get it out of your head and put it on to paper. That’s how you get to the summit. That’s how you reach your goal…by starting. Writing it down makes it real. By re-writing your life as you want it you are re-wiring your brain. 

Please leave a comment and let me know how you get on with this. Or you can get in touch with me at https://www.womenhavevision.com/contact/.

If you need some clarity or guidance there are many ways I can help. You can book a Free call with me to explore working together, or an email reading or consultation may help. When we’re in the middle of the forest we can’t always see the wood for the trees, and the path may be obscured. A view from outside the forest sometimes helps!

Oh and come and join our Dare to Dream private facebook group, where I post videos and we have a weekly zoom call!

Love Sue