We all have them don't we? Someone somewhere in our lives who presses our buttons – the one marked 'irritation' or 'judgment' or 'criticism'. But the most important thing to remember is that we can't change people! There is only person we can change – and that is ourselves. So if we want to change a particular relationship in our lives, we need to look within, not without. It's hard to take, but it's true!
Relationships are mirrors of ourselves. What we are, so we attract. We might not like the idea, but that's how it is! I often think "surely I'm not like that?!" But the reality is that either I still am 'like that' in that area of my life, or I used to be. The thing with relationships between 2 people is that you are both on a journey, both evolving, and often at different paces. This can inevitable mean that you get 'out of synch'. In other words, when you both met and got together you were a perfect match. But over the years one of you might have 'moved on' in your life journey more quickly than your partner. So the things you used to enjoy doing together, one of you no longer enjoys.
Perhaps you both used to go to the pub several times a week and get drunk. Now one of you no longer wants to go, and in fact no longer drinks. So not only do you not socialize together in this way, but you are 'irritated' by the fact that your partner still does this. But in reality neither of you are wrong. One of you is the person they still were when you first met and whose behaviour you mirrored and therefore felt perfectly ok with – the other has 'moved on'…. see what I mean? We can't make the other person change to be like us, because they don't see the need.
Think about it. What right do we have to tell someone how to live there lives? I think that might be called 'controlling'….!